Top Box Office Movies

Date Movie (2006) 20th Century Fox
1 hr. 20 mins.
Starring: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard, Eddie Griffin, Tony Cox, Josh Meyers, Meera Simhan, Sophie Monk
Directed by: Aaron Seltzer
This film is rated: PG-13

Date Movie

Rating:

E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG

Photo: 20th Century Fox

Well folks, it looks like it’s going to be a very long, tedious movie season. Of course when all else fails in terms of bogging down weary movie audiences with relentless, unwanted sequels and repetitive and unimaginative slasher flicks, there’s always that standby of genre that quick-fix filmmakers can always run to in immediate desperation—the good old reliable film spoof.

True, film mockery can be infectious no doubt as it worked for creative ditties from the likes of delightfully warped minds ranging from the legendary zany Mel Brooks to the playful insanity of the Zucker Brothers. Certainly, Date Movie screenwriters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (who also directed this silly-minded dud) cannot be mentioned in the same breath as these effective moviemaking satirists. In culinary arts analogy, Brooks and the Zuckers are to the comical richness of a hearty roast beef lunch whereas the Friedberg/Seltzer collaboration are to the mere luster of a half-eaten, stale bologna sandwich.

If anything, the wacky yet insufferable Date Movie goes through the expected motions by poking perverse fun at its intended, familiar targets. The problem is that the toothless parodies being featured in this yuckfest seem to have no particular drive or sense of inherent naughtiness to them. Sure, there are a few scattered moments in Date Movie that will occasionally entice a chuckle here and there. But for the most part, Seltzer and his cohort Friedberg lazily serves up the referenced source of ridicule without fortifying their irreverent bits with any comprehensible gusto. Basically, this drawn-out vehicle is the equivalent of a defective whoopie cushion without the funny sounds.

The frustration with Date Movie is that it feels so uninspired because it doesn’t work for its labored laughs. When the movie feels compelled to start off with a silly jab at Napoleon Dynamite, you are left wondering about the many outlets that have already explored this often-parodied popular Jon Heder sleepy-eyed comedy—and with much better riotous results. Thus, Date Movie is never outrageous entirely to lend any more wise-cracking insight to the frivolous fodder its spoofing so unevenly.

Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan from the CBS-TV sitcom How I Met Your Mother) is a big-boned waitress working in the diner business with her parents (Eddie Griffin and Meera Simham). Julia’s folks want her to invest in a romantic relationship with any man so long that she has someone to sweep her off of her hefty feet. In any event, Julia is optimistic about finding Mr. Right.

Soon, Julia takes advantage of the services of a “date doctor” (Bad Santa’s Tony Cox). So what’s his job at hand? Well, it’s to make his plus-size princess look presentable to potential suitors. After undergoing a remarkable transformation that would make Ford Motors a proud corporation of papas, Julia is set to take on all romantic interests. Finally, regular diner patron Grant Funkyerdodder (Adam Campbell) takes an affectionate shine to his sweetie Julia. Hence, they’re are now ready to take their relationship to a whole new level. Can anything stop Julia and Grant’s blooming happiness?

Before the couple can expand their love for one another, they must go through the ritual of meeting each other’s parents (Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge play Grant’s folks). Predictably, this whole process goes awry. And if this isn’t a distraction for the lovebirds to live with as an obstacle, Grant’s hot-looking “pal” (Australian singing sensation Sophie Monk) still holds a lusty candle for him. Will Julia and Grant be able to overcome the static to claim their undying love?

Date Movie purports to be a hysterical riff on the contemporary romantic comedies that include the microscopic madness for fare such as Hitch, Meet the Parents, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Wedding Crashers, Bridget Jones’s Diary, and My Best Friend’s Wedding. While the movie does all it can to stack up the nuttiness against these well-known flicks, there’s nothing uniquely amusing while reminiscing about these funny pictures because we are quite aware of what made these rom-coms such a hoot in the first place. Do you really need the anemic Date Movie to tell you how wickedly spry Wedding Crashers or Meet the Parents was in its carefree manner?

The only real humorous element is the fact that the handlers of this film are gleeful enough to tell us that Date Movie is from the selected brain trust of Scary Movie scribes. Gee, that ought to make you feel privileged about this lame venture, huh? And if the pointless parodies don’t tickle your fancy to completion, the movie hangs its pseudo-bemusing straight-jacket on a series of raunchy gags and tired sexual innuendo.

Overall, Date Movie is sophomoric, lackluster, obvious, inconsequential and plays like a string of cheesy late night sketches in search of your elusive giddy funnybone.

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Frank Ochieng
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