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Man of the House (2005) Columbia Pictures 1 hr. 37 mins. Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Cedric the Entertainer, Anne Archer, Christina Milian, Kelli Garner, Monica Keena, Paula Garces, Vanessa Ferlito, Shannon Marie Woodward Directed by: Stephen Herek Man of the House Rating:  
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG Okay gang, repeat after me, “Tommy Lee Jones is an Oscar-winning actor.” It’s a simple and true statement, right? Well, one would have trouble believing this revelation as the stoic performer stars in a callow action-comedy about some no nonsense Texas Ranger out to protect a bunch of curvaceous cheerleaders from a ruthless mobster. In the disposable laugher Man of the House, Jones not only stiffly participates in this dandy dud but assumes the role of executive producer as well. Whatever triggered Jones’s funnybone when allowing himself to appear in such a drab frolicking feature must be awfully contagious. Interestingly, Man of the House wasn’t available for an advanced screening for movie reviewers from various outlets. This is always a telling sign that screams volumes about the film’s viability as a piece of shoddy entertainment. Was it Jones’s insistence that the movie be held back for fear that it would garner indifferent responses from despondent observers? Whatever the intention, Man of the House is a languishing farce that predictably wastes the talents involved in this simplistic Southern-fried romp. The thought of the lanky crater-faced Jones mingling amongst dizzy-minded divas on the football field is a creepy sight gag at best. As surrealistic as this premise sounds director Stephen Herek (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Mighty Ducks, Life or Something Like It) fails in properly mining out the goofy laughs therefore drawing an infantile appreciation for the movie’s slight off-kilter theme. Jones plays straight-laced Texas Ranger Roland Sharpe who goes undercover as a cheerleading coach in an effort to monitor the safety of five University of Texas cheerleaders--Anne (Christina Milian, Barb (Kelli Garner), Evie (Monica Keena), Therese (Paula Garces) and Heather (Vanessa Ferlito). The gorgeous gals were unfortunate enough to witness a heinous crime by the gangster that may decide to retaliate and mark these young women for death. So Roland must move into their sorority house and deal with their free-wheeling exploits on campus. In the process of protecting them from possible danger, he learns to connect with the pretty pom-pom princesses as an unlikely friendship develops amongst them. On board to provide further comic relief to this carousing comedy of blood, bullets and blow ‘em up bits is Cedric the Entertainer (Johnson Family Vacation) as a wise-cracking vocal ex-preacher who engages in an exaggerated dance-off with Roland’s busty beauties. This of course serves as a convenient excuse to blast whatever catchy song lingers within the movie’s excitable soundtrack. Whenever Cedric is not shaking his beefy body around the sensuous squad then Jones’s Roland can be found looking incredulous and reacting hastily to everyday occurrences (such as foolishly attacking the football team’s mascot). But after awhile, Roland’s shapely charges teach him how to loosen up and not take himself so seriously. Because he’s so involved in his line of work, the humorless Texas Ranger has a strained relationship with his own daughter Emma (Shannon Marie Woodard). Soon, Roland would find comfort in falling for one of the girls’ college professors in the person of Molly McCarthy (Anne Archer). Man of the House (not to be confused with the 1995 insipid domestic comedy starring Chevy Chase) is all over the place and doesn’t have a cohesive bone in its banal body. Herek has trouble deciding what to do when delivering this disjointed dramedy. Is this meant as a frivolous physical comedy? Or is this some moody melodrama wrapped in a so-called witty package? As the dry self-deprecating lawman, Jones is a natural hoot. However, his curvy co-stars are inconsistent as the periled college-bound cuties. One moment they’re as dense as a bag of doorknobs and then the next moment they show a sensible side that undermines their satirical reputation as air-headed bimbos rooting for their beloved Texas Longhorns. The mixture of crooked cops, the fascination of the Lone Star State’s passion for gridiron intrigue and a silly-minded dosage of outlandish mayhem weave into one great big web of mediocrity. Even the brief insertion of funnyman Cedric the Entertainer and the welcoming cleavage of the strutting tasty tarts aren’t enough to breathe life into this interminable Texas-style football fable. In short, the man of this particular House makes for a shabby breadwinner. Click here to comment on this review or post your own thoughts. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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