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Frankie Feedback (Part 12) Presents: “Mr. Ochieng, You’re Wanted in the Projector Room!” 
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG PREVIOUS PARTS: “Nothing Like the Flow of a Good Old Moviegoer’s Angst” “The Moviegoer Strikes Back!” “Penny for your Pithy Thoughts” "Meet Frank Ochieng, Cinema Cynic" “A Poisoned Pen, An Opinionated Mind” “They’re Out for Blood, Och!” "Frank(ly) Speaking..." "Requiem of a Moviekiller" "Are You Cruisin’ for a Cinematic Bruisin’?" “I Love the Smell of Vitriol in the Morning” “A Sneak Preview Into Your Rotten Soul” Yes folks, it’s that time again to hear the outcry from film fans that want to add their two cents worth of input regarding my ardent cinematic stances. Whether movie lovers agree/disagree with my film-related assessments is something that is inherently understood by all involved. And I know that some of you naughty criticizers out their want my judgmental hide in the worst way. Oh well, such is life I suppose! In any event, welcome to the 12th installment of another FRANKIE FEEDBACK column entitled “Mr. Ochieng, You’re Wanted in the Projector Room!” You all should know the drill by now…basically, you get to share your random thoughts—no matter how inarticulate or poised they may be. So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and see what you naysayers have in store for yours truly. And remember…be gentle because movie reviewers have feelings also! Well, at least some of the time anyway!! (smile) Frankie Feedback (Part 12) “Mr. Ochieng, You’re Wanted in the Projector Room!” proudly presents the following: Comments made to Frank about his review on CAPOTE: Judy Thimes writes: “I definitely loved this movie and I am sure that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is due to receive some kind of Academy Award recognition for a fine, sturdy performance. As for you Frank, you are a capable movie reviewer and I cannot deny your scope as an online film critic—particularly when you write such a stimulating critique for a worthy film. But keep in mind that I still find you hard to swallow as you are insufferable and just plain clueless. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!” Frank’s response: “So I am hard to swallow, huh? Well Judy, have you tried gulping me down with a pint of orange juice? Maybe that’ll do the trick! I would put your criticisms against me in a pipe but the stupid thing only blows bubbles! Geez, where’s Lawrence Welk when you need him!” Comments made to Frank about his review on PINOCCHIO: Jim B. writes: “Ochieng, you are a complete fraud and I will expose you for the phony that you are! I recently saw you give a recommendation to the horrible Roberto Begnini’s (sic) Italian film “Pinocchio” at some Polish movie website where they proudly showcased your misleading movie quote. Leave it to a movie moron such as yourself to recommend such a rotten film.” Frank’s response: “Jimbo, you need to get your facts straight along with that so-called Polish movie website that featured my alleged “positive” movie quote. If you didn’t jump to conclusions so fast, you would see that my original film review of that horrible flick leaned more on the panning side than it did the praising one. Secondly, it was awful sneaky of this said website to partially pick out any wording that would make readers think that I enjoyed this pointless and painful big screen adaptation of this children’s fable.” Comments made to Frank about his review on THE NOTEBOOK: Jackie Sobo writes: “Frank, you are indeed a sour-lipped idiot who doesn’t know a sweet-loving movie if it bit you on your clueless carcass. It figures that you didn’t like anything about The Notebook and automatically labeled it as sappy and tediously paced. What a drag you are!” Frank’s response: “Yeah, I thought The Notebook was indeed sappy and manipulative. Guilty as charged. However, when you see a duck waddling in the pond don’t you assume by your eyes and ears and gut understanding that it’s a creature that quacks? Enough said.” TtDiFF@aol.com writes: “Your review on The Notebook was awful. It was one of my favorite movies and you put the whole thing down. Everyone of my friends and family members loved it. It’s a shame that your opinion had to be written!” Frank’s response: “Not only is it a shame that my opinion had to be written according to you but it’s a shame that I had to be exposed to such a tedious, syrupy tale. Hey, what can I say but sorry I jotted down such harsh words in your beloved Notebook.” Comments made to Frank about his “membership within the ranks of The Brotherhood of film reviewers”: An unknown source writes: “Mr. Ochieng, it’s high time that movie fans boycott you and your nonsensical quips about the vast majority of films that you see. You do an injustice to the critiquing craft that dutifully provide decent insight into films. I get sick and tired of seeing you spread your vicious views on sites such as TWJ.com and MovieEye.com. Is there a way that you can relinquish your membership at the OFCS (Online Film Critics Society)?” Frank’s response: “Ah, I see that we have a hit-and-run in our midst! You are one of these petty individuals that like to deliver the venom yet remain a faceless snake by not revealing your identity. Hey, that’s fine by me. As for reporting me to the “authorities” at the OFCS, let me give you their phone number: it’s 1-800-eat-stale-popcorn-and-choke. So you say that this number is unlisted, huh?” Comments made to Frank about his review for MR. AND MRS. SMITH: Tracy writes: “I loved it the movie was awesome” Frank’s response: “Tracy, I gather that no one has accused you of having what they call verbal diarrhea! Your response is shorter than an inchworm’s eyebrow! Nevertheless, I do appreciate your limited comments, though.” Comments made to Frank about his review for BIKER BOYZ: Chakula S. Woods writes: “This is a response to your response. I told you that I am biased, but I have to admit that I only liked two parts in the movie, the part where Derek and Megan Good ride up and the part where they are in the diner and one of the biker boyz explains how he was robbed that was a good scene. I guess I wouldn’t have to ask your opinion on Pieces of April or Spartan but maybe you liked Friday Night Lights I thought that he gave a good performance as Boobie. Hey and we have to be proud Derek is our only actor in the family! We have another family member that plays for the Raiders so we are the cheering squad!” Comments made to Frank about his review for IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY: Fedor Macasek from Bratislava, Slovakia writes: “A few lines to your review: I have got opportunity to watch the movie just yesterday on Russian ORT channel and I must say I was delighted by it after a pile of garbage which we are fed from Hollywood. I exceptionally enjoyed both dialogues, camera and actors as a sensual concert. Either you were too rigorous or I became more sentimental. Yours sincerely.” Frank’s response: “We’ll compromise, Fedor…let’s just say that I am a rigorous reviewer whose view on FAMILY didn’t appeal to a sentimental softy such as yourself, okay?” Click here to comment on this article. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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