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King’s Ransom (2005) New Line Cinema 1 hr. 35 mins. Starring: Anthony Anderson, Donald Faison, Regina Hall, Jay Mohr, Kellita Smith, Nicole Ari Parker, Loretta Devine, Leila Arcieri, Charlie Murphy, Brooke D’Orsay Directed by: Jeff Byrd King's Ransom Rating:  
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG The woefully disposable King’s Ransom is a carelessly crass comedy without one ounce of subversive cleverness in its heart. Director Jeff Byrd haphazardly assembles a bunch of overly exaggerated caricatures and parades them around in a dissolving farce that has all the wayward charm of a botched lobotomy. Roly-poly funnyman Anthony Anderson (Kangaroo Jack, Malibu’s Most Wanted, Cody Banks 2: Final Destination) leads the spoiled festivities in a languishing laugher that’s more insipid than it is irreverent. Byrd and screenwriter Wayne Conley try desperately to fuel King’s Ransom with a sordidly wacky energy that’s meant to translate its ribaldry as something charmingly offbeat. But the movie feels aimlessly cluttered and chintzy in its bid to showcase its army of over-the-top misbehaving misfits. The suggestive humor is needlessly strained and we could have enjoyed these despicable characterizations immensely if they weren’t drawn so laboriously sketchy. Staggeringly unimaginative and utterly ill-conceived, King’s Ransom is one of the most uninspired and punishing inept comedies of the year. It appears that almost everyone wants a piece of conflicted mogul Malcolm King (Anderson). King wants to protect his assets but unfortunately there are others that have different plans. Right off the bat we’re instructed not to sympathize with the wealthy weasel because of his obnoxious persona. King Enterprise is the real love for the beefy businessman and he’ll do what it takes to land comfortably on his opportunistic financial feet. While currently trying to cope with a bitter divorce confrontation with his wife Renee (The Bernie Mac Show’s Kellita Smith), King must do something to shield his scorned spouse away from his valued finances. Thus, he hatches a plan to stage his own kidnapping. The reasoning is that the hired kidnapper can demand a huge ransom for King’s faked capture—the same money that would have gone into Renee’s pretty paws. Of course King would be able to snatch his dough in this planned ruse and take off for the hills elsewhere. Besides a soured Renee wanting her husband to squirm continuously, there are others interested in exacting their sweet revenge. Hard-working Angela Drake (Nicole Ari Parker) still holds a grudge against her crooked boss for reserving her well-deserved promotion for his beautiful but bubble-brained receptionist Peaches (Regina Hall) with whom King is having an extra-marital affair. Also, fast food mascot Corey (Jay Mohr) is a habitual loser when it comes to staying employed so he has visions of jumping into the “let’s swipe Malcolm King sweepstakes” in order to reap the benefits of quick cool cash. As if notions of both a phony and real kidnapping scheme aren’t chaotic enough, a fraudulent parking valet named Andre (Donald Faison from NBC-TV’s Scrubs) decides to pass himself off as Malcolm King to enjoy the status that comes with the name. In the process, Andre’s antics backfire when a recently released convict (Charlie Murphy from The Dave Chapelle Show, Eddie’s older brother) does some kidnapping of his own. The ex-jailbird (who’s the brother of the real King’s mistress Peaches) looks to capitalize on holding the bombastic big shot while not realizing that his absconded guest is not the genuine article. Byrd’s farcical dreck may be received with a few nervous chuckles here and there. And there are a few arbitrary quips and selected outrageous scenes that are intermittently funny. But for the most part, the unforgivable plotting is shamefully scattershot. Conley’s lethargic script is sloppy and abysmally generic. When all else fails, the filmmakers lazily parade out a collection of stereotypical prototypes and let these undernourished lousy schemers automatically dictate the frenzied pacing of the misguided fray. There’s supposed to be a perverse sense of exasperation behind the distracting nonsense that idiotically drives King’s Ransom. Yet this rotted romp feels so overwrought in its cobbled together silliness. Soliciting the inherent humor behind the concept of ambitious golddiggers, shady and indifferent cops, boisterous bling bling-loving black chicks, sexual innuendo, mistaken identity, run-of-the-mill slapstick and recycled sight gags seems like a pandering ploy in the making. Anderson can be really riotous if astute moviemakers choose to situate the performer in suitable material that properly reinforces his on-screen comedic credentials. Instead, Anderson repeatedly plays these one-dimensional portly protagonists as some recurring perfunctory punch line in a string of anemic comedies. Overall, the riff raffish participants in this crappy kidnap caper are presented as endearing screwballs put into edgy predicaments. However, the urban flavor to this quirky yet callous comedy doesn’t click because the kooky characters aren’t grounded in any depth of development. This ludicrous session of mayhem struggles with its zany expectations therefore merely coming off as a dispiriting dud. Why someone would pay a rusty nickel for the grandly foolish King’s Ransom is beyond anyone’s guess. After witnessing this interminable piece of entertainment, will our kidnapped 95 minutes of precious time be returned to us safe and sound? Click here to comment on this review or post your own thoughts. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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