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Frankie Feedback (Part 3) Presents: “Penny for your Pithy Thoughts” 
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG PREVIOUS PARTS: “Nothing Like the Flow of a Good Old Moviegoer’s Angst” “The Moviegoer Strikes Back!” Okay TWJ.com readers…you know the drill by now! There’s no need to serve up a robust introduction in what I’m about to present in my on-going Frankie Feedback column series. This time we are going to concentrate on the third installment entitled Frankie Feedback: “Penny for your Pithy Thoughts” where I diligently empty out my mailbag based on the unsettling and sometimes positive responses from your fellow passionate moviegoers out there in Cinema Land. Now rest assured that my honest to goodness critiques come right from the astute cinematic eye. Simply put, I call ‘em as I see ‘em. I realize that my assessment isn’t always going to gel with your filming opinion. And yes, there will be heated disagreements in film philosophy or an occasional self-appointed English teacher will remind me that my grammar structure is out of place or that my tendency to be verbose in written form is inexcusable. That’s fine—it’s fair game to heap upon me your many tirades meant to mock or shock me. But hey, I’m a film critic so the territory comes with me having to possess thick skin. So come join me TWJ.com film enthusiasts as your resident movie reviewer answers his…eh, well…own critics! And you know my Frankie Feedback saying by now so let me use it once again in repetitive mode—there were no movie critics or moviegoers harmed during the construction of this column! Really, I swear!! Okay, let’s take a look at what the world thinks about Frankie’s celluloid instincts, alright? Comments to Frank about his review on FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY: Leslie Rose writes: “I found the movie to be sweet, clean, and fun. I thought the music was engaging. The dance numbers energetic and the payoff for true fans was worth it. It’s a shame that Frank is so cynical. It’s a disservice to readers to have someone who hates the show review the movie. He went in with strong preconceived ideas”. Frank’s response: “Yeah, it is a shame that I’m so cynical, huh? Gee, I wonder what got me that way? I know…how about the fact that I wasted precious minutes of my life sitting in the theater watching the tiresome and tepid antics of “manufactured” Teen Beat novices Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini wasting away in a middling musical concocted so quickly and sloppily to keep up with the American Idol craze that’s inexplicably sweeping across North America. And what about MY disservice to the readers? Don’t you mean what about their disservice to me since I sacrificed my sanity to see this carbon copy Beach Blanket Bingo dud so that defenders like you Leslie wouldn’t have to waste your time or your money? Oh yeah, I forget—you ADORED Justin and Kelly. My bad. Dainty Brown writes: “Frank is doing his job Leslie, he is a good critic. It was even obvious from the trailer that the movie sucked. Frank is not sugar-coating the blatant deficiencies of this ‘film’. As a matter of fact, I don’t think Frank is doing a disservice, rather, he is doing Justin and Kelly a favor. They should take his advice, stick to music and leave showbiz the hell alone! Also, Frank is saving unsuspecting persons like myself (if only I had listened), from the torture and torment we would receive from watching From Justin to Kelly. Thanks Frank” Frank’s response: “Bless you Dainty…you actually get it! Is it possible to clone you so that I have your logical support all the time? (smile)” Comments to Frank about his review on DUMB AND DUMBER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD: Maureen Yelwoh writes: “This film was ridiculous. Even more retarded than the 1st one. I mean the 1st one was okay, but this one---just stupid. I couldn’t wait to get out of the movie theater. According to my friend, it’s a waste of time, money, and brain cells. Good grading Frank Ochieng!” Frank’s response: “Amen, Maureen, Amen!” Comments to Frank about his review on ADAPTATION: Jim Bojangles writes: “Review is vaguely pretentious, scintillatingly pathetic, toxic but tender, annoyingly endearing. Just say what you mean and stop being meaninglessly clever, and uselessly verbose.” Frank's response: “Oh, in other words you don’t want my film review to resemble your demeanor, Jim? Sorry, I’m being vaguely witty if not annoyingly endearing.” Comments to Frank about his review on 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS: Ivan from Miami, Florida writes: “Dear Frank, I am writing to you because I love that movie both movies are very good, but second one was better I am telling you this because I love cars I car is the only thing in the whole world I would be the happiest person on the world. So men I am telling to please mak more movies about cars I don’t care whatever title the movie will have just make them please…” Frank’s response: “That’s terrific that you like cars, Ivan. And obviously you’re a fan of this frantic film. There’s nothing that I can say to convince you that 2 Fast 2 Furious drove me crazy (sorry, couldn’t resist that painful pun). Comments to Frank about his review on JASON X: Jeremy Humphrey writes: “jason x was the best jason movie I have ever seen I hope the make another one They really need to because we don’t know if he is dead or alive”. Frank’s response: “Well Jeremy, if they do decide to make another Jason movie let me know so I can arrange to scratch my eyes out with a rake—that’ll give me a legitimate excuse not to see the eleventh installment.” Comments to Frank about his review on THE MATRIX UNLOADED: Mitch Lex writes: “amazing and exciting very good” Eileen Famiglietti writes: “Excellent review!! When I came out of the theater after seeing this all I could think myself, outloud, was “WHOA”..guess I wasn’t the only one”. Frank’s response: “Yeah guys, I obviously concur with your enthusiasm for this mind-boggling sci-fi spectacle. Simply wondrous.” Comments to Frank about his review on DRAGONFLY: Barbara Saucier writes: “I loved it” Frank’s response: “Hmmm…that’s funny because I couldn’t stand it. Gee, it’s funny how that works, huh Barbara?” Comments to Frank about his review on THE BANGER SISTERS: Valerie Carson writes: “Dear Mr. Ochieng…I think your review needs to be reviewed. The content is overwhelming and reads entirely too much into this movie. Perhaps, you cannot identify with the theme of this movie. I believe it’s to be taken lightly. I believe many women think back to their younger years and wouldn’t mind reliving a few experiences with their girlfriends. It’s not just about groupies. The beginning of the movie says it all. Goldie Hawn’s Suzette character is unhappy with her current lifestyle. While standing at the bar in a nightclub she watches skinny young girls dancing in front of a rock band. This makes her remember what it used to be like when she was younger. The same occurs for Susan Serandon’s, Levinia character. Levinia says, “I’m so busy pruning the plum trees…that I have lost me.” Many women feel that their lives as working women and/or housewives are so busy that there is little down time for themselves. Your comment, “So the running gag of the film is realized thanks to the obviousness of the movie’s premise that asks the audience to contemplate the following: are we slaves to our simplistic past where taking raucous chances is the real learning experience or are we handcuffed by our present day cynicism where there’s a tendency to sellout in the unctuous world of corporate selfishness?” is unbelievable! What are you talking about? If you understood women at all you would know that they enjoy change and there’s nothing wrong with occasionally taking a risk to get out of a boring rut. Aside from that, I do not understand how can you be so disrespectful of such talented actresses. My final comment to you is try not to take life so seriously. You only have one chance as far as we know to enjoy it. In my opinion, Suzette and Vinnie are just part of the spices of life. They are fun characters! They made me want to join them in their blast from the past!” Frank’s response: “Geez Valerie, in the time you spent racking me over the coals with my “misguided” review on THE BORING SISTERS…er, I mean THE BANGER SISTERS, you could have written your own critique and saved time trying to knit pick on my so-called flawed analysis!” Comments to Frank about his review on QUEEN OF THE DAMNED: Greg Kafka writes: “I thought your review sucked All you did was write about the bad things of the movie and how they were exploiting Allyiah which is not true. The movie was a great movie you just don’t understand it.” Frank’s response: “I am so thrilled to see that you have a handle on what I choose to write about. So you’re upset that I “wrote about the bad stuff”. C’mon Greg, get with the program…will ya? Don’t you think that if there was something redeeming worth mentioning that I would bother to elaborate on it? Here I outlined my reasoning for crowning QUEEN yet all you can do is lamely proclaim how this movie was great. Man, if that isn’t the typical defensive cope out comeback then I don’t know what is!” Comments to Frank about his review on GLITTER: Richard Leavey writes: “I LOVE THIS FILM! sod what other people say! I love Mariah and I was really worried about watching this because I thiught that it would make me feel different about ms carey! I have now seen the film 49 times and still love every second! I made about 20 of my friends watch (all 15/16) and all except 1 loved it! I thinks it’s a good performance from carey and max beesley! A must see! You’ll love it or hate it but what ever yo do…….don’t let reviews make your decision for you!!!!! Love mariahs no. 1 fan rich xxxx Frank’s response: “It’s official Rich, you are certifiably off your rocker! Someone get a restraining order against this guy, especially you Mariah Carey!” Comments to Frank about his review on JUST MARRIED: Rachelle Esterly writes: “This movie is my all time favorite. Not only does is it completely hilarious, it adds little moral to the story. You’ll love it.” Frank’s response: “Let me get this straight…of the thousands of movies that have been released over the last 80 years or so, you mean to tell me that JUST MARRIED is your all time favorite film? You can’t be serious Rachelle, can you? I mean you have to be kidding with me, right? Totally unbelievable!” Comments to Frank about his review on WHAT A GIRL WANTS: Samantha Madnick from Napa, California writes: “I think this movie was cute and funny. I also think that oliver james of one of the hottest guys I have seen in a long long time. And he is all mine”. Frank’s response: “Once again, I wish all you giddy teenyboppers will consider spilling your hormonal tendencies for Oliver James somewhere else. After all, this isn’t MTV and I am not Carson Daly.” Comments to Frank about his review on ONE HOUR PHOTO: Ethan K. writes: “Very insightful review but I didn’t enjoy this movie at all. I think Wiliams’ roles this year are interesting because we all know him as a comedic actor, and the new roles allow us to see the depth of his talents through the duality and conflict he brings to the screen. However, this film never really got going for me. It seemed like a boring 40 minutes without a real climax to the film”. Frank’s response: “Nicely articulated and duly noted, Ethan.” Comments to Frank about his review on HALF PAST DEAD: Timmy Osoba writes: “A cool acctio movie, with a lot of fighting and violence, this film I would recommend it too younger viewers. I liked the whole movie, it’s smething that people can watch.” Frank’s response: “Your mother must really be proud of you, son. What do you do for an encore anyway? Certainly it isn’t winning spelling contests, huh?” Comments to Frank about his review on CHANGING LANES: Thomas Duffy writes: “the review is good but the movie wasn’t as good to me, I felt it had been slaughtered in editing, good try though, good review just don’t agree with opinion”. Frank’s response: “I guess to each his own, right? Anyway, I appreciate your reasonable feedback”. Comments to Frank about his review on 8 MILE: Shannon Leigh Powell writes: “I think they should have pics of some of the movie secens that happened in the movie 8 mile!!!!!! thank you Frank’s response: none Sam Simpson writes: “EMINEM IS HOTT. So was this HOTT film! But A Walk to Remember was a lot better and Shane West Is A lot HOTTER!” Frank’s response: “Sammy, I’m glad that you’re overly giddy about 8 MILE and your appreciation of Eminem. But is there any other word in your limited vocabulary besides “hot” or “hotter”? Since it’s too hot, maybe you need to “cool” down some. Just some friendly advice, that’s all.” Comments to Frank about his review on PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE: Wendi Thygesen writes: “Sandler was great! I was amazed but I always knew he had it in him.” Frank’s response: “Yeah, he was actually effective in PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE. When you get with a skilled director such as Paul Thomas Anderson, he can turn a cinematic simpleton like Sandler’s many on-screen personas and miraculously turn him into the second coming of Laurence Olivier.” Comments to Frank about his review on FEAR DOT COM: Wendi Thygesen writes: “I got in free and I felt like I wasted my time on this incredibly poor acted and stupidly plotted film. It was so bad that everyone walking out of the theatre was saying “What the hell! That was Stupid!” The ending didn’t even make sense. What tawaste of an hour and a half of my life. The guy who edited the trailor should get an award for making this look even the slightest bit interesting to go see.” Frank’s response: “I do concur with your assessment of this lackluster cyberspace horror show. I should have logged off from this flick from the time the opening credits rolled.” Comments to Frank about his review on THE HULK: Nicole Cabello writes: “The beginning of the movie was good until it got to the part where they were trying to kill the main character. Then they didn’t kill him I don’t really know. Frank’s response: “Nicole, the fact that they were trying to kill the Hulk is a given. After all, this is what you instinctively do when a wild green giant runs rampart in your backyard. As for not killing him…well Nicole…he IS the Hulk! Enough said.” Comments to Frank about his review on THE HOURS: Susan Lee writes: “Loved this movie..everything is beautifully filmed..The way the story unfold is brilliant. Inspired me to read Michael Cunningham’s novel…Thumbs up for Nicole who portrayed Virginia Wolf….One of her finest!” Frank’s response: “Can’t argue with your point of view. We’re on the same page in reference to this elegant and lyrical film.” Click here to comment on this article. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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