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Frankie Feedback (Part 2) Presents: “The Moviegoer Strikes Back!” 
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG Hello film fans! Well, after the tremendous response to my previous movie article Frankie Feedback: “Nothing Like the Flow of a Good Old Moviegoer’s Angst”, I decided to do what so many opportunistic filmmakers do in Hollywood—offer a sequel based on my prior rewarding efforts. Thus, I want to engage the readers here at TheWorldJournal.com another look at the comical (if not awkward and sometimes articulate) responses to a selection of some of my film reviews. Now of course some movie reviewers aren’t strangers to all sorts of kind and callous feedback. But hey, as I mentioned many times before the ridicule and kudos definitely go with the territory. Still, I don’t begrudge wayward comments about what I critique too much because it reflects how passionate and defensive some moviegoers can be about their entertainment choices. So biting the head off of the messenger instead of looking close at the mangled message has always been the protocol. Again, please sit back and enjoy some of the…er, insights…that your fellow filmgoer had to offer yours truly. And as I mentioned before in my previous write-up that definitely applies here, there were no movie critics or moviegoers harmed during the construction of this column. (smile) And remember that old lyric when barking at your local film critic: “What the world needs now is love sweet love!” Please keep that in mind when chastising good ole Frankie, okay? Now let’s go to the mailbag and see what’s on the agenda, huh? Comments to Frank about his review on OLD SCHOOL: C. Angle writes: “Frank Ochieng has no sense of humor at all, period. Obviously, Frank, you were one of those losers in high school and college and missed out on learning what funny really is (either that, or you’re 45 and think you’re too good to laugh at a movie like this). You missed the ENTIRE point of this movie. If you go into this moving (sic) REALIZING that yes, of course it will be a lot like all the other slapstick comedies (look dude, there’s nothing new under the sun). What’s funny is the different people, different stunts, and different spins on it. All I know is it’s freakin hilarious and if you’re cool and have a really fun sense of humor you’re going to love this movie. Take my word for it, Frank sucks. Frank’s response: “You said that I missed the ENTIRE point of this movie, right? Well, it’s too bad I didn’t get the chance to miss the ENTIRE movie period! And yes, I do have a sense of humor but after watching the regurgitated antics that OLD SCHOOL conjured up from other repetitive slapstick comedies we’ve seen countless times before, my sense of fun disappeared faster than a salami sandwich on Dom Deluise’s plate! No, I’m not 45 (as of yet anyway) and it’s not that I’m “too good” to laugh at a movie like this—it’s that I am sensible to not laugh at a movie like this! As for you thinking that I suck, well…that’s your call if you want to get THAT personal. What can I say but “hey, have a healthy hate!” And please, have a nice day while you’re at it! Comments to Frank about his review on JACKASS: THE MOVIE: Sharon Nicole Meininger writes: “Jackass was one of the funniest films I have seen all year. I think you review was too critical. First off their stunts are real and very painful, also maybe if you weren’t a little girl then maybe your stomach could handle movies such as Jackass!!!!” Frank’s response: “If JACKASS is such a hoot to you then you must think that a sleepy session in Congress is made for riotous belly laughs! Come to think of it, anything Congress does is hysterical—at least compared to the destructive dimwits that rule the nonsensical flick you seem to get so giddy about. You say that the stunts are real and very painful, right? Maybe they are—so what? Does that make this rude and rollicking showcase the hottest thing since slice bread? It’s not that my stomach couldn’t handle a movie like JACKASS but the stupidity factor definitely contributed to my cinematic indifference.” General comments made to Frank (miscellaneous): Dr. Deathmaker writes: “Ochieng, don’t you realize that all film critics must die a horrible death? May you rest in peace you overly judgmental movie misfit! Frank’s response: “Hey “Doc”…film critics don’t die instantly. However, they do burst into a combustible ball of flames when they turn age 65!” Comments to Frank about his review on THE HOT CHICK: Kimberly Spencer writes: “I don’t particularly like Schnider but I thought the movie was great! It has everything that we need in this day and age. Comedy (cuz of all what’s going on in the world), Love (the world needs a lot more of), Loyalty (any questions?) and the timing was perfect. Followed by a great cast who bring the whole thing together. Jim Carrey could have done just as good a job as Rob and people would have loved it instead of criticizing it. Lighten up. Have fun. That’s what this movie is all about. No matter how bad things seem to be, there is always someone out there who has it worse. It’s a great movie for all ages. First date, just friends or groups. If you want to laugh and get lost in something not so depressing as “current affairs” this is the perfect movie. I give this 5 *****!” Frank’s response: “Kim, I’m perplexed about your passionate plea for the relevance behind THE HOT CHICK—did we in fact see the same darn movie? So you mean to tell me that you actually experienced the positive elements of love and loyalty in this ridiculous and reckless romp? Tell me that you’re pulling my leg! Are we on Candid Camera or something? If I wanted to “lighten up” then I’ll watch seals juggle the plastic ball on the tips of their noses. If I wanted to laugh at something then I’ll simply balance my anemic-looking bankbook! If I wanted to get lost in something then I’ll take a one way field trip to the Amazon. But I’m afraid you are climbing up the wrong tree if you are going to take me to task for scathing THE HOT CHICK that has all the elegance of a used tissue! Comments to Frank about his review on BIKER BOYZ: Kayleigh writes: “It was a great movie. It was kinda like fast and the furious but with motorcycles. I LOVED IT!” Frank’s response: “Is it me or is applying the word “great” to BIKER BOYZ a bit of a stretch? And you are only repeating the obvious comparison that this movie was indeed a FAST AND THE FURIOUS with motorcycles. Still, you have yet to convince me as to why it didn’t deserve the lukewarm review I gave it in the first place. Althea Greene writes: “I absolutely loved everything about this movie. I saw it 3 times and it gets better every time. The stunts are hot, as well as the actors. Anyone who thinks this movie sucks obviously just doesn’t get it.” Frank’s response: “Althea, I’m glad to hear that everything about BIKER BOYZ gets you hot and bothered. Might I suggest a cold shower to remedy this feeling? If you want to see hot stunts with hot actors, I hear that the Chippendales dancers are considering jumping the Grand Canyon on Evil Kneival’s motorbike! If you catch the next plane, you might get there in time to check out the festivities!” Comments to Frank about his review on DAREDEVIL: Shannon Leigh Powell writes: “I think this page (review) is really good!!!!!!!111” Frank’s response: “Gee…thanks! And in the future, could you add about five more exclamation points to further stress your approval? (smile) Comments to Frank about his review on TIME CHANGER: Catherine Neely writes: “Very poor movie. It was just a sermon we had to pay for.” Frank’s response: “That’s very interesting. Folks can criticize a movie for having the gumption to spout something as old fashioned and decent as the belief in God and the philosophy regarding the fate of man’s spiritual emptiness. Yet let something as inane and cockeyed as junk food cinema fill the screens then there’s a sudden appreciation to behold. Sometimes I really wonder about the priorities and psychological makeup of the American movie-going public! No, folks shouldn’t be preached at if they don’t want to be bothered but the mating of two cars crashing in the air or the shaking derriere of vapid vixens is indeed acceptable as the ultimate cinema experience? Hey, I guess you have the right to pick your own poison.” Curtis Paltza writes: “ Excellent review; I give it five stars. Catherine Neely apparently didn’t care for the movie! What a shame! If she were that miffed, she could have demanded her money back (so she wouldn’t have to shell out her hard-earned pay for “just a sermon”, as if that were a bad use of her money, considering the junk many feel compelled to buy—waste their money on—in today’s society). I enjoyed the acting talents of Paul Rodriguez, Jennifer O’Neill, Gavin MacLeod and Hal Linden way too much to let the slightly plodding pace get me down. I give the movie three stars. The only thing I didn’t see in the movie was a real reason why morality could or should not be taught outside the context of God. I feel there is a very distinct benefit in infusing morals with the Judeo-Christian ethic, in both teaching and practice, without even having to mention God, or belief in a creator. The movie did not do a good job of refuting that point, so I felt Professor Carlisle gave away his thesis too quickly.” Frank’s response: “Amen, Curt! And thanks for such a detailed and structured opinion as well!” General comments made to Frank (miscellaneous): Jessica Nicolle Donohue writes: “I often read your reviews at Movie Eye, and while we don’t always agree, I always find your thoughts well-articulated, intelligent, and inspirational. In fact, I prefer your writing-style and opinions to those of many of well-established movie critics in the nation’s largest newspapers and magazines. Unfortunately, I am a student and a free-lance reporter, and so I have little time to frequently respond to reviews or to establish dialogue via the internet with others who share my delight in film. I do, however, deeply appreciate your kind words. I look forward to reading more of your reviews in the near future. Take care. Best regards, Jessica Donohue” Frank’s response: “I am humbled by your gracious statement—I am left speechless. Anyway, I do appreciate your insights (once again). See folks, I’m a softie after all and I certainly don’t bite! (smile) Comments to Frank about his review on ANGER MANAGEMENT: Joi Cardinal writes: “An entertaining display of vocabulary! (Did the reviewer in fact read the dictionary backwards in his youth?) I was wondering what the hype was about this film; fortunately Ochieng has spared me from actually watching it. The pairing of Nicholson and Sandleer (sic) teems with possibility; this review has convinced me that it achieves none of its goals. Thanks Frank! (If you learn to use hyphens correctly, I will expect even greater things from your future reviews.) Frank’s response: “Thanks for your positive comments…I guess? No, I never read the dictionary backwards but I did have a healthy helping of alphabet soup on many occasions! As for my hyphen fetish, I plead complete ignorance in this specific matter. Nevertheless Joi, happy to be of cinematic service!” Comments to Frank about his review on THE TRANSPORTER: Emily Cortez writes: “I was extremely entertained by this movie. Of course it is not trying to win an Oscar or anything else but I have watched it a few times and each time is just as good as the first. Jason Stratham is definitely a great action star and fun to watch. I look very forward to seeing him in many more action movies. And that voice he has! Oh man! Definitely worth seeing for the ladies!! And tons of action for the guys!!!! I loved it.” Frank’s response: “Hmmm…I see that your temperature rises just thinking about Mr. Stratham’s chopsocky manly presence! Way to go Emily in recommending a film based on your hormonal levels. And thanks for reminding guys that it has tons of empty-headed action that they can lose themselves in. You really have a handle on this flick I so erroneously misjudged, huh? Plus, you mean to tell me that THE TRANSPORTER isn’t trying to win any Oscars? Gee, thanks for that wonderful inside tip—I’ll remember that the next time I see another forgettable and faceless hyper-kinetic actioner.” Comments to Frank about his review on WHAT A GIRL WANTS: Tabitha Matta writes: “This movie was excellent. It showed a father-daughter realation (sic). It was so good. Amanda Bynes did a good job for her second movie that goes in the theaters. Her co-stars did good as well. Especially Oliver James who by the way is super hott, but did a good job for his first movie (good kisser)” Frank’s response: “Oh brother! I’m sure that Mr. James approves of your idol worship for him. (***Note to self: Frank, be patient and understanding—this is a typical teenybopper with an understandable reaction to a bubblegum flick meant for her peers!).” Marcia Meyers Ameyer writes: “I am a big colin firth fan…I grew up without my dad (he died when I was 15) so I related to this film and went to see it…although a grown woman I enjoyed this light…soft-hearted film. Colin firth was perfect and the rest of the cast adorable including kelly preston and amanda byrnes….3 stars” Frank’s response: “Glad you could relate to the premise of not having a father around much like the character Amanda Byrnes played in bubbly fashion. I guess it hit close to home for you in that regard. Obviously you didn’t mind the excessive sugary sentiments disguised in a self-serving vehicle to promote the profitable marketability of Ms. Bynes rising popularity. Victoria Kim writes: “OMG! Oliver James is the hottest guy in the whole entire universe. AND he can SING! (my favorite hobby) Back to the movie, Amanda Bynes is a beautiful and amazing actress. I CAN’T believe she’s already 17! The movie was so good that I cried. Colin Firth was so funny. I thought that Oliver was so sweet and the movie was just amazing. I can’t wait to see him in another movie. I am definitely going to see it again. I LOVE OLIVER JAMES! (I AGREE W/ TABITHA HE DOES SEEM LIKE A GOOD KISSER)” Viki (Potomac, Maryland) Frank’s response: “To quote your generation’s eloquent response to a lot of subject matters at hand—WHATEVER!!” Monica Borchardt writes: “Oliver James is so HOT and has the best singing voices! I’m in LOVE with him TOO! Haha. Well anyways the movie was great. Amanda Bynes is a great actress and Colin Firth did a good job and was very funny. I cried at the end. I bet that Oliver James is a GREAT KISSER! He is such a HOTTY. Well email to talk about the movie…” Monica (P-Town, California) Frank’s response: “Wouldn’t it be better to forward your Teen Beat fascinations with dreamboy Oliver James at his publicist’s attention instead of filling my mailbox with your robust girlie crushes?” Kevin Martin de Castro Vitug writes: “I really love Ammanda Bynes because she is totall (sic) pretty and cute. In true life, it looks like Oliver James and Amanda Bynes are really boyfriends ans gf’s!!! Haha!!! I keep on searching of Ab’s email add. But I keep getting the wrong one yah kno?! I hope you can give it to me thanks!!! Hahah!!!”- Kevin Martin Vitug (Manila, Philippines) Frank’s response: “Hey Kevin buddy…who do you think I am…Miss Bynes’s personal secretary? No, I don’t have her e-mail address. And in case you haven’t noticed I wrote a rather lengthy critique about her flaccid flick. Now maybe I’m the one out of line here but could you possibly have anything substantial to say about my observations on this movie as opposed to showing me what a perfectly creepy stalker you would make in your pursuit of Amanda Bynes?” Comments to Frank about his review on ADAPTATION: Steve Marshall writes: I FOUND THE MOVIE’S ENDING TO SEND THE WRONG MESSAGE TO TODAY’S “BY THE BOOK” WRITERS. I UNDERSTAND THE MOVIE IS MOCKING HOLLYWOOD BUT I THINK THE MOVIE, LIKE SOCIETY WANTS TO EAT ITS CAKE THEN TAKE A DIET PILL INSTEAD OF DOING THE WORK. THE MESSAGE SEEMS TO BE IN THE ACTION OF MOVIE. WHEN CHARLIE SURRENDERS TO ROBERT MCKEE’S TENNANTS HE FINDS HIS STORY ENDING AND HAPPINESS. ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN METAPHOR. I THINK IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF THE AUTHOR PRESENTED BOTH CONVENTIONAL WRITING METHODS AND ARTISTIC WRITING METHODS AS TWO VALID WAYS TO CREATE. HERE I THINK CHARLIE ENDS UP GETTING THE SHORT END OF THE STICK, AS DONALD LOOKS LIKE THE WINNER OF THE STAR SEARCH SCREENWRITING DIVISION, ALBEIT HE ENDS UP DEAD. I THINK THIS MOCKING OF A HOLLYWOOD ENDING IS ACTUALLY A HOLLYWOOD ENDING. I’M CONFUSED IS ROBERT MCKEE BEING SKEWERED OR PRAISED. TOO WISHY WASHY. THE ACTING IS SUPERB ON ALL ACCOUNTS. AND UP UNTIL THE ENDING THE FILM IS FUNNY AND POIGNANT AND AT TIMES POETIC. TO QUOTE MCKEE “AS LONG AS THE ENDING IS GREAT, THE AUDIENCE WILL PUT UP WITH THE REST.” FOR THIS VIEWER THE ENDING AIN’T GREAT. YOUR WITNESS MR. MCKEE. STEVE MARSHALL NYC Frank’s response: “Well Steve, that was some kind of analysis…very interesting indeed! But tell me something…is your CAPS LOCK button defective on your keyboard? After all, when you type in all capital letters it represents the fact that you’re screaming your point of view instead of simply writing your point of view in a calm and collective fashion. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your feedback on Spike Jonze’s subversive ditty ADAPTATION”. Well gang, thanks for your input and feel free to keep the letters coming (I think!!!) After all, if there’s something you got on your mind in reference to my particular movie eye then let me know what’s on your backburner of forethought! Until then, happy movie-going everybody!! Click here to comment on this article. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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