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Frankie Feedback: “Nothing Like the Flow of a Good Old Moviegoer’s Angst” 
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG The friction and/or appreciation factor between the film critic and the moviegoer has been a constant standoff since the beginning of motion pictures, or at least that’s what I believe anyway. In the many years that I have been involved in the movie-reviewing racket, I have certainly heard some ditties in my time. Now mind you that it’s always nice to hear praise about your written work since the compliments come far and between. However, it’s always a challenging and/or interesting venture into the mind of the avenging moviegoer whose disdain and disagreement always seems to make for some frothy fodder. Well folks, I have had my share of “frothy fodder”. In fact, I had too much to the point that I am ready to overdose. So as a humorous look into the perverse passion of some ardent film fans out there who have not been amused or thrilled by my so-called “poisonous pen”, I will attempt to air out my mailbag of both compliments and curses while looking into the complex psyche of my favorite detractors and supporters. Believe me, this is very therapeutic for me to share my inherited “constructive criticism” with the valued readers here at TheWorldJournal.com. Please be advised that the films I am being racked over the coals by are featured at TheWorldJournal.com while some others are displayed elsewhere. The critiques for TheWorldJournal.com will be signified with a (TWJ) marking next to the film. Anyway, let’s take a field trip through my mailbag and see what goodies are in store for Mr. Frank Ochieng, shall we? And remember, this article isn’t about alienating anybody in particular nor should folks get insulted or defensive. If anything, this is my lame attempt at displaying the humor and clumsy humiliation that has sparked the “war of words” between a film critic and his many observers. So bear with my self-deprecating presentation, will you? Oh yeah, it’s important to know that no movie critics or moviegoers were harmed during the construction of this column. Just thought you would need to know this tidbit. And now folks, it’s showtime… COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON HARRY POTTER and the CHAMBER of SECRETS: (TWJ) Jordan Boyd writes: “I can see where you are coming from. It is a vague story line. But you can’t really slow things down that much”. Frank’s response: “Thanks for seeing where I was coming from regarding Harry and the gang…and no, I don’t advocate that the filmmakers should have slowed things down in terms of the action—all I wanted to see was more definition within the growth of the characters in relation to the yummy special effects and excitement!” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON KANGAROO JACK: (TWJ) Rebecca McIntire writes: “I hated the film—it was very unbelievable and stupid but my 13-year old loved it…not for adults, but is just for kids!” Frank’s response: “Rebecca, I’m kinda puzzled? You agree with me about the insipid nature of “Kangaroo Jack” then defend it because this idiotic flick appeals to the mindset of a pre-teen kid? Well, I got news for you—even from a kid’s point of view, KJ has to be an insufferable experience! Maybe the breakdancing and rapping moronic marsupial has the appeal to preteens what the banal Barney the Dinosaur had to infants and toddlers who didn’t know any better! And I beg to differ when you said that KJ wasn’t meant for adults. Heck, it was made by adults and featured a skin clad Estella Warren set against a delicious waterfall. Now tell me that her curvy dimensions was meant to only appeal to your teenaged son and not say, for instance, his father who may has discreetly taken notice on this so-called flick that was…uh, “just for kids!” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON ABANDON: (TWJ) Perry Mercer writes: “I’ll have to agree with my friend Och on this one. I don’t even think the movie was worth 2 stars. Katie Holmes really hasn’t made a decent movie yet. I’m sure she’ll come around eventually once she gets some more experience. I don’t recommend this movie to anyone. Stay away.” Frank’s response: “Perry, what can I say but thanks for agreeing with me…the check is in the mail! I know I wasn’t too thrilled about “Abandon” but geez, you left no stones unturned, buddy! Tell us how you REALLY feel! (smile) COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON RESIDENT EVIL: John Crap writes: “Your review of “Resident Evil” hardly seems fair or true. Right from the begining (sic), you stereotype “Resident Evil” as a videogame port and begin to verbally abuse the movie, refusing to notice the good aspects of the movie or take it for what it was: a damn good horror flick. Sure it may have a few moments reminiscent of 2001 or Aliens, but damn, the Matrix had inspiration from Terminator 2 and the Bible! Maybe you were so consumed mentally noting what you thought was crap to notice everyone else in the theater thought the movie was bad-ass. In the future, I advise you to let go of the stereotyping or any pre-viewing impressions and try to enjoy whatever film you watch. No one cares who made the movie or where the idea came from. All we care about is was it good? Resident Evil was” Frank’s response: “John, I’m sorry buddy but I have to stick with my impressions of “Resident Evil” and label it what it was—in this case, your surname (sorry, I couldn’t resist). And how was I stereotyping this film as you so defiantly proclaimed? “Resident Evil” did come from the concept of a video game! That’s being informative and stating a fact, not being a troublemaker who “stereotypes” as you so astutely put it. And that’s kind of presumptuous and misinformed on your part to state: “no one cares who made the movie or where the idea came from”. I got news for you buddy-boy, there are plenty of people who would want to know the dynamics of a movie and its inspiration. For one, I’m sure the actors’ and director’s parents would have liked to see their offspring being recognized for their work regardless of how inferior it was! As for you wonder whether it was good, I thought I wrote a whole review indicating to you why it wasn’t good?” Sam Clark writes: “John’s right! Resident Evil was good flick with a lot of action and suspense! Putting it down like that is horrible! I’ll be sure to disagree with your review of the sequel (if review is negative) for Resident Evil: Nemesis” Frank’s response: “Sam, let me guess…you and John Crap are refugees from a Mensa meeting, huh? And did I see you guys profiled on PBS? Gee, you road scholars really gave me my comeuppance, huh?” Jordan Boyd writes: “What do those people know about cinema? They’re probably gothic idiots who have no sense of good filmmaking. I thought the film was terrible. Everyone else (including the people who have played the game or seem like fools) that I know thought it was horrible, too.” Frank’s response: “I like that…a man with good reason and common sense! I’ll make sure that Santa Claus visits your house twice next Christmas!” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON SNOW DOGS: Jennifer Collins writes: “This review is pretty bad. I saw this movie and loved it. Any dog lover would appreciate this movie. I found the movie to be very funny and plan on buying it on DVD when it comes out. Disney movies are for the family. Does Frank have young children or dogs for that matter? Maybe if he lightened up and stopped taking life so serious he would have enjoyed this movie.” Frank’s response: “Jen, maybe any dog lover may have appreciated this canine dud of a movie but for the rest of us, it was about as appetizing as falling face first into yellow snow! And no, I don’t have any kids or dogs since you inquired. And if I did, I would do the dutiful thing by taking my dog to school or walking the kids in the park (whoops, it should be the reverse, huh? Silly me…) Seriously, it doesn’t take much to humor you when it comes to embarrassing, pointless pseudo-kiddie farces such as “Snow Dogs”, right? I’m sure the huskies and their human co-stars (two Oscar winners no doubt) in the form of Cuba Gooding Jr. and the late James Coburn thank you for you support against the mean movie reviewer in the person of “humorless” Frank Ochieng! I’ll try not to lose any sleep in the process.” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON JOHN Q: Mirza Omeragic writes: “Frank Ochieng’s review of John Q has really disappointed me. He probably didn’t even watch the movie closely. This movie is full of drama and what one father would do for his son. I am neither for or against the HMO but this movie brings some reality to the whole notion of HMO and what money does. Remember when John walked in on a conversation with Dr. Turner and a patient of his? Mr. Ochieng needs to watch this movie again and again to get the whole picture. Mike O from Chicago, IL” Frank’s response: “Mr. Omeragic, there’s no need for me to watch the manipulative, medical melodramatic weeper John Q—trust me, once was enough! It’s not that I am insensitive to the picture’s message about the cynicism involving the corrupt medical care system nor am I blind to the plight of the penniless parent who’ll do anything to see his child live at the expense of an uncaring medical establishment. It’s just that “John Q” rubbed me the wrong way in its knack for the predictably preachy platitudes it pours out in shameless doses. The drama of this film was replaced by a convoluted and saccharine-coated premise that was designed to draw self-righteous pity. I’m partial to the commentary about heartless HMOs and poor folks who suffer from their indifference. However, I’m not partial to hokey Hollywood showcases that pretends to identify with this very same sentiment in trivial, Oscar-bait fashion”. COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON BLUE CRUSH: (TWJ) Wendi Thygesen writes: “I think you are a little too serious for your own good and obviously are out of touch with teenagers. Both “Blue Crush” and “The Fast and the Furious” are entertaining and fun movies to watch. True they aren’t Oscar calibur (sic) but I enjoyed it as did my kids. So lighten up and enjoy the action on the big screen. You certainly can’t get the same affect on DVD” Frank’s response: “Wendi, your criticism about me “being a little too serious for my own good” and “lightening up and enjoy” are careless anecdotal recommendations. In case you have forgotten, I’m a movie reviewer and it’s my job to give my professional opinion on fare that I consider is acceptable or unacceptable. Now you may not want me to take my job seriously and you may not mind seeing overzealous tripe since that’s your privilege to do so but I have an obligation to save some film fans out there from paying unnecessary box office dollars to see duds that may waste their time, money and effort. And am I out of touch with the average teenager? Perhaps. But being young and showing appreciation for surfing and sand doesn’t necessarily grab the immediate gusto of say the typical adolescent in the urban areas, now does it? Unless you are one of the Brady Bunch kids, you probably wouldn’t handily take to “Blue Crush” all that much anyway. Otherwise, me identifying with kids have nothing to do with whether this flick was worthy or not in my estimation. “Blue Crush” could have been about 80-year-old blueberry foot stompers in Kansas and that still would not have made a difference to me as long as it was a viable flick in my humble opinion.” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON ORANGE COUNTY: Keith Winton writes: “Blind comments!” Frank’s response: “Why Keith, not impressed with my review? Why am I not surprised? When I write a lengthy and thorough film review, I doubt that anyone can accuse me of “blind comments”! Hey, whatever tickles your fancy Keith…go for it!” Gail Beltran writes: “Right on the mark!” Frank’s response: “Gail, succinct and sweet…appreciate your snappy insight!” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON THE TRANSPORTER: (TWJ) Perry Mercer writes: “I’ll have to disagree with Frank on this one. If you are going to this movie to see a high quality drama action film, then you didn’t get the trailer. This movie is NOT trying to win an Oscar or copy “The Killer” at all. This movie is low on plot and high on all out action. The plot is just there to lead to another crazy stunt or fight scene. I think Frank is taking this movie to be something that it’s not. I liked it better than Romeo Must Die, which I thought deluted Jet Li’s action talents. Jet Li is not a great American actor, he’s a Great American Action star. There’s a difference. I think Jason Stratham can actually do both pretty well. I enjoyed this movie for what it was aiming for. A over-the-top, high octane, action-adventure film. The whole premise is completely far-fetched and it’s suppose to be. Don’t take this film as trying to be real and serious, cause it isn’t and it’s not trying to be. If you’re a male moviegoer looking for a film with lots of action and great stunts, definitely see this film. The first 20mins alone will keep you pinned to your seat and gobbling popcorn.” Frank’s response: “Geez Perry, you were better off writing the review for “The Transporter” yourself! (smile) And by the way, don’t presume in what manner I am digesting this rudimentary actioner. And why do folks always use the cop out comment “it’s NOT trying to win an Oscar” as if to excuse the movie for being the empty-headed kinetic farce that it is? First of all, I am well aware of what “The Transporter” is trying to convey—its genre sort of tipped me off, Perry! Secondly, I look at “The Transporter” within its class of movie type and/or genre. I am not clueless enough to compare it with “Beckett” or “Citizen Kane” so give me that much common sense and credit, will ya? And don’t tell me how to view a film whether it’s in silly mode or serious mode! I trust my eyes and impressions in what I see and feel is appropriate. In case you need to know, I don’t bad-mouth ALL action adventure flicks and can appreciate some that are cockeyed and unfocused. However, “The Transporter” seemed to be a desperate carbon copy of the endless kinetic crap we’re used appreciating with our generous guilty pleasure.” COMMENTS TO FRANK ABOUT HIS REVIEW ON DARKNESS FALLS: (TWJ) Jessica Nicolle Donohue writes: “One will presumably enjoy Frank’s irreverently humorous review of Darkness Falls more than Jonathan Liebesman’s latest film! As always, the content is thorough and full of what one of my respected mentors calls verbal cookies—delicious phrases and sentences that remain in a reader’s mind long after he or she completes a text. Frank uses the English language beautifully but isn’t afraid to also include more common slang, which makes the reading accessible and satisfying for people of many different persuasions. I may still have to see this disgrace for myself, but my trust lies in the thoughts of this commendable review.” Frank’s response: “Why thank you for the generous praise, Jessica! You’re definitely a young woman after my heart if not my starving ego! (smile) Overall gang, the exchanges of barbs involving the weary film critic and his hostile/happy readers is rather self-explanatory. One can definitely come to the conclusion that people are emotional about their taste of preference in movie entertainment. It just goes to show that everyone has the capacity for opinion and that the concept of filmmaking is a unique language that most speak of from the cinematic heart. NOTE: The feedback excerpts provided for this article were originally posted at MovieEye.com! Click here to comment on this article. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
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