 |
|
|
|
|
MOVIES FRONT | MOVIE REVIEWS | INTERVIEWS | COMING SOON | BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS & REPORT | NEWS | LINKS |
Gigli (2003) Columbia Pictures 2 hrs. 5 mins. Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Lenny Venito Directed by: Martin Brest Gigli Rating:  
E-MAIL FRANK OCHIENG Will the faithful followers of “Benifer” Nation unite and give Martin Brest’s futile crime romantic comedy Gigli the box office push it doesn’t deserve? Gee, let’s certainly hope not. Besides the trivial tidbit about this movie’s distinction as it being the setting where lovebirds Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck capitalized on their real life romantic sparks, Gigli (rhymes with the word “really”) doesn’t conjure up any other noteworthy factoids worth mentioning. Writer-director Martin Brest (Scent of a Woman, Meet Joe Black) delivers what amounts to be a dreadfully uneven mob dramedy that has more holes in it than an aging pot-bellied gangster riddled with the hail of a wayward semi-automatic’s bullets. You name it and Gigli has it: atrocious acting, overwrought and nonsensical dialogue, a convoluted and inane plotline, laughable sketchy characterizations and anemic chemistry between kissy-poo leads Lopez and Affleck that one wouldn’t even dream of concocting at a third-grade science fair. Suffice to say, this awkward comedy about contract killers playing footsies isn’t interesting to the point of pulling the trigger pertaining to this unconventionally lame affair. Before anyone feels that a majority of the responsible critics out there are intentionally dying to rip apart the ubiquitous J-Lo and her latest main squeeze Benny Boy, there’s a need to investigate the reasoning behind such distaste for this excruciatingly uninvolved man-made wreck. Never mind that the hearsay about Gigli was an instant sour note to begin with or that the hype of the Lopez-Affleck union would generate as much attention in the fictional on-screen spotlight as it does in the factual off-screen one. Again, a generous portion of Benifer enthusiasts will probably give Gigli the time of day if not out of nagging curiosity. And if these devoted fans of the big screen precious pair finally come to their senses and realize what a waste of time Brest’s lacking hitmen narrative really is then there’s always the next outing Lopez/Affleck devotees can anxiously look forward to…the soon-to-be-released Jersey Girl. Geez, I guess one can hardly wait for that monumental occasion, huh? Meet Larry Gigli (Affleck), a hapless Southern California-based thug for mobster boss man Louis (Lenny Venito). The misguided Larry is selected to perform the latest task that involves kidnapping the mentally-challenged brother named Brian (Justin Bartha) of a resourceful federal prosecutor. While the flawed Larry holds poor Brian hostage until special arrangements can be made to ensure that the operation goes smoothly, Louis becomes awfully nervous. Somehow the skeptical head honcho behind this delicate move doesn’t seem too thrilled by Larry’s questionable capabilities. Thus Louis ups the ante by sending vivacious vixen Ricki (Lopez) to help out Larry in overseeing the absconded Brian. Ricki is a sensible New Age kind of gay gangster gal that comes with a sturdy focused mind not to mention a mouth-watering body frame to match. Understandably, Larry’s smitten by Ricki due to her “complete package” as a hitwoman with hubris. The golden question remains: will the impulsive knuckle-headed Larry crack the all-business minded Ricki’s heart to the main expectation of inviting sexual satisfaction? Can Larry convince Ricki to let go of her lesbian tendencies and experience the passion of a rough-and-tumble Romeo willing to sweep her the old-fashioned way courtesy of his Neanderthal-induced charms? Hmmm…me thinks the horndog chase is on! Outside of the gimmick of having these reality-based sweethearts go around in circles trying to convince audiences of their frothy mismatched relationship amid the stale material that’s just plain patchwork at best, Gigli does nothing to instill any reasonable direction of irreverent heft into this lopsided love story of goofy gangsters and giddy gumption. The movie is a strange and strained cross between Rain Man and Fools Rush In. Affleck is cocky as the macho meathead but this showy persona doesn’t leave much to the imagination while Lopez does effectively channel her alter ego’s sexiness and enthusiasm intermittingly. However, the feeble script fails them miserably as this felonious farce drags on for what seems like a painful eternity. If your idea of watching Affleck’s clumsy enforcer trying to conquer lesbianism by desperately wooing Lopez’s homosexual hottie as they babysit Bartha’s handicapped houseguest appeals to your entertaining interests then you’re in luck as the woeful Gigli may ignite some acknowledgement on your behalf. Otherwise, the rest of us should be spared by the tired antics that this film carelessly conjures up. Predictable pokes at homophobia and mental retardation are on the force fed agenda. And if the overused presentation regarding mob figures doesn’t fulfill your needs immediately then there’s the lean shock value element of pontificating the importance of the vagina. And as a special treat, we are introduced to a couple of cameo appearances by a tandem of Oscar-winning actors (notably Christopher Walken and Al Pacino) that leads us to ask this bewildering question: what the heck is this talented twosome doing in a flaccid flick like this? Walken’s weird walk-on as a flustered cop doesn’t prove any great shakes while the great Pacino (Brest’s leading man from “Scent”) does choppy charity work as a get-a-clue Mafioso whose buttons are pushed very easily. It’s true in the age-old adage that crime doesn’t pay. In watching the strenuously insipid Gigli, whether it is at gunpoint or on a sheer voluntary basis, we know now what solemn truth is behind this clichéd saying. Click here to comment on this review or post your own thoughts. Frank Ochieng © TheWorldJournal.com |
|
|
MOVIES FRONT | MOVIE REVIEWS | INTERVIEWS | COMING SOON | BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS & REPORT | NEWS | LINKS |
|
|
|
|
Sponsored Links |
| Web Hosting Forum - Web hosting, marketing and webmaster related issues. Find the best hosting for your website! |
| Top
Box Office Movies © TheWorldJournal.com, All rights reserved. Student News Network For the best advertising rates at TheWorldJournal.com (120x600 - new banner format by the Interactive Advertising Bureau), click here. Back to top |
e-mail: info@theworldjournal.com sales: sales@theworldjournal.com |
||